The Front

Well that title is pretty God-damned self-explanatory, isn’t it?

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For people that like typography, here is a short history of the ampersand & a link to a blog devoted to its permutations.

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From around the world and straight to your tube, here are some of the finest music videos of the moment.

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What if your life could be easier? It can.

Based on a story by William Burroughs and directed by Gus van Sant, this instructional video will show you everything you need to know in order to make living your life as easy as possible. Behold:

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Leeches! Leeches! Everywhere leeches! On your legs! In your eyes! Behind your ears! Sucking your blood! In your medicine cabinet?

Yes, thanks to the good people of the Blutegel company, you can now enjoy the convenience of medicinal leeches in your very own home…

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The little-known 20th century Russian writer Daniil Kharms has a cult following for his absurd and often violent short stories. Though mostly known as a writer of Dr. Suessian children’s poems, the works of Kharms became exceptionally angry and outstandingly ridiculous as his writing career progressed. Eventually the Soviet authorities deemed his works to be too strange for public consumption. He was arrested, and then placed into the psychiatric ward of a prison in Leningrad, where he starved to death during the Nazi blockade of the city. To commemorate the birth of this blog, we are happy to present one of his more coherent works – Kharms’ description of his own birth, in its first English translation. Enjoy:

“Now I’ll tell you how I was born, how I grew up, and how they first discovered in me the signs of genius. I was born twice. It happened like this:”

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Arthur Ganson is a kinetic sculptor specializing in existentialist Rube Goldberg machines. That is to say, he builds very elaborate machines which don’t really have any obvious use. They do, however, have an obvious purpose, and that is to make us question why he would go through the trouble of building such a thing in the first place. If you click on his name in the youtube link, you will see that he has dozens of similar machines to show you. Some serve purposes (such as oiling themselves, or cleaning a violin), but many are totally useless, existing only as manifestations of Ganson’s ingenious sense of humor.

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The Canadian humorist Jonathan Goldstein, author of the occasionally hilarious books Ladies and Gentlemen, The Bible and Lenny Bruce is Dead, now has a show on CBC radio called Wiretap. Though the CBC lists it as a “Drama” series, Goldstein thinks of himself as a humorist, which, according to his own definition, is “a comedian who doesn’t necessarily make you laugh.” Though actually, there is a good chance his show will make you laugh, but it’s not a simple sort of humor. It will also make you think. It might even make you sad, in a funny way.

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Do like to read in the bath? Are you dirty, religious, masochistic, psychotic, or just plain curious? Then step right up and buy a bottle of Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soaps 18-in-1 Hemp PEPPERMINT PURE-CASTILE SOAP, truly one of the most uniquely fascinating personal care products on the market today. The first thing anyone will notice about Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap is that every bit of its giant label is covered in miniature messages from Dr. Bronner. Some quote historical figures, other praise the necessity of a unified faith for humanity, others just have encouraging words for the average bather starting their day.

Who is this man? If you are to believe the frenzied text on the label of this soap, it was first created after Dr. Emmanuel Bronner was torture-blinded in 1944. He then deeded his industrial holdings and patents to the 6000 year old African astronomer Abraham. These holdings included Planetemples, 13 different Essene Birth Control Techniques, a gift to mankind in the form of a mineral-boullion, and a “Town without a Toothache.” From here the story becomes less clear, as the Doctor begins referring to himself as being several people and writing only in rhyming verse about the Moral ABC of the All-One-God-Faith, lightning-like strong and we’re All-One! All or None! All-One!

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