The Front

A ship full of bony children that has spent many years sailing across the desert that was once a sea has dropped anchor in front of your house. The entire crew disembarks. Lead by their captain over a thousand paces of burning white sand, they arrive at your front door and call out for your help. “Where are we?” the captain asks. “Where are we going?” You turn around to fetch them a map but they have already overrun your property. They erupt in celebration and throw you out onto the sand. “It’s ours now! It’s ours now!” They shout and celebrate and tear apart your home. “What’s yours?” you ask. “Yours is nothing, for my house is a mirage.” They hang in the air for a second as they realize it’s true. The last one to hit the sand is a child who had been climbing up to your roof, who now hits the ground with a thud and a groan as he impales himself on his wooden sword. The crew gather up their fallen comrade and march wearily past you, back to the ship. You’ve got a smirk on your face, but as their ship bobs up and down over the dunes on the horizon it starts to dawn on you that now you are the one who has to wander the desert alone.

Do you like to keep up with the news and foreign events? Are you tired of straining your weary eyes in the morning, peering over a screen or squinting at a newspaper in a vain effort to be informed of worldly transpirations?

The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan
The debate on illegal immigration
The economic collapse of Western civilization
And more!

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Are you sick of objective journalism? Tired of hearing the facts? When the news appears as your own dreams, it will be entirely up to you to determine how to interpret it. Stand in the shower puzzling over the logic connecting the symbols. Spend all day pondering. Be informed.

Sometimes you won’t even remember that you’ve used our service, but as you watch the headlines stream across the morning news ticker, you will experience a strange sense of déjà vu. All of it will seem totally new, yet oddly familiar, like the grown-up face of a lost childhood friend.

Who said you have to be awake to stay informed? Upgrade your account to Mindhole Premium tonight!

- No. 17